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| I was reading all my old posts, all the way back to October 2005.
I was a very depressed child, I must say. I didn't even realize. I feel sorry for Old Me. But, reading the comments, it seemed like I was very loved. Hahahaha. I don't feel that people feel that way about me, anymore. Seriously, read those comments. Oh, well.
I'm not really sure why I posted this.
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| When I get on my xanga on Internet Explorer, I hear this preacher talking. It's really weird, because it's not on a banner, or a pop-up. It's just a disembodied voice on my xanga, preaching.
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| I keep having dreams about going to school at PHS. It's really weird, and I can't explain it, but it's happened twice now, as far as I know.
In the first dream, Kyla started going to PHS, where Megan goes to school, and I became really jealous and wanted to go too, but I didn't have a ride to get there in the morning.
In the second dream, which happened last night, a ton of people were going there, and it was the first day of school, and Meagan, Achaila, some friend of Meagan's and I were all running late; Achaila was driving us. When we got to the school, I remember being in this odd room that kind of looked like small cafeteria, with a hallway going off of it that opened into these large, open, sunny rooms with no doors.There were a bunch of kids there, and I saw Abbie sitting on the floor next to Kyla and went over to her. We were both worried that we hadn't brought the proper gym clothes, but some girl that wasn't new assured us they were fine. Ryan Zide was there, Kendra Mayle was there, and that's all I remember, other than Achaila, Meagan, Kyla, Abbie and me.
For some reason, I remembered that really creepy thing that happened to me last year, this morning. Not the eye thing, where my eyes went all crazy and I couldn't control it, but the one where I woke out of a dead sleep, and my face felt like it was being pulled in all different directions, completely distorted and I couldn't stop it. I remember I tried to scream as loud as I could, to get someone's attention, but nothing came out. It was the scariest thing. It hasn't happened since, and I'm thankful.
Now on to something not so odd or frightening: schedules. I've already realized there isn't going to be an AP English class with just five people signing up for it, but I wanted an AP class next year, so even though I don't like U.S. History, I'm going to take AP History next year. Too bad. I don't want a Study Hall, so I've put down four electives: French III, Piano, Theatre II and Advanced Communications/ACT Prep. The last class is questionable, especially because it seems kind of wasteful to me to spend half a year working on ACT, but maybe in the end it will actually help. I feel so stupid that I'm going to be in Applied Geometry next year, but ah well. Haha. I now I'm not good at Math, and wouldn't have been able to keep up in the regular class. Enviromental Eath Science. Oooh yeah. It's my only option, since Chemistry is the only other Science available to me and I'm not in a high enough Math to take it. I sure love the Environment!
It's a Snow Day, and I'm really bored. No one's here with me, and I can't go anywhere, unless, miraculously, somebody came and picked me up. I was supposed to go over to Megan's house, but the roads were too bad. I won't complain, or I'll end-up sounding like a whiny cunt boy again.
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| I wonder if they put the Disney DVD's into an actual vault.
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| Nothing is going on, right now, and things are pretty much boring. School is...school, and home-life puts me to sleep...literally.
I am excited for Christmas, though. I'll be in Williamstown, this year; the last two years I was at my mom's. I am, although, having some trouble making-up a Christmas list. I can't think of anything to ask for! It's odd. Normally I have a million things. I don't know. I guess as you get older your "needs" lessen. Because, like parents don't get nearly as much as kids. Maybe because most kids don't give their parents presents. I do, most years. If you think of anything that I could ask for, that you think I would like, please tell me. I'm at a complete loss.
Tuesday morning, my mom is coming to get Seth and me. I'll be there until Saturday, then I'll be back here for Christmas, then I'm going to Indianapolis on the 27th, with my grandparents, Seth, Cody and I think Sammi. I love going to Indianapolis.
Right now, I'm reading The Silmarillion by J.R.R. Tolkien. It's basically like the Bible of The Lord of the Rings. It explains the making of the world, and how the elves, dwarves and men came to be. It's really good, and interesting. It explains a lot of what's in the other three books. I probably should be reading classics...you know expanding my mind. Oh, well. It's too good.
Speaking of books, I went to Border's, the day that I was supposed to go to Wheeling and see the lights, but the bus wouldn't run. I love it. I'll be there every other day, when I get my car. I went in the literature section. It's so amazing! And, most people think of "literature" and they think Old English books, but that's only if the section isn't big. Border's has the "new" literature, which is great. It has so many different stories, just like Young Adults, but the writing is so much better. I'm getting gift card for there for Christmas. It'll be wonderful.
I got on a roll, writing over last weekend and this week. I'm actually like getting excited about the story unfolding, and every thing connecting. I'm falling in love with my characters, and their personalities are blossoming. Writing is so fun.
Why do people suck so much? Maybe it's not people in general, just the people I know. I mean, they act like they love you, and you're great friends, then they completely stop talking to you, then they invite you somewhere and then leave you, with no phone call, or anything. It's ridiculous. And they wonder why we weren't talking. True friends are few, and it's a very sad thing. Maybe it's me. Maybe I'm hard to like, or hard to be friends with. I've got my anger under control; I don't rip people's heads off anymore. I don't know. I probably don't have the best personality, but there's always a friend for someone. But, it's okay. I'm doing fine with the friends I have. Lacking in the love department. Big schock. That's perpetual. At least until I leave Williamstown. I'm too different, too looked-down-upon, too misunderstood. People don't really know me, but they act like they do. I shouldn't care, but when it affects the views of people who's opinion I care about, it makes me so angry. Oh, well. It's not like I haven't gotten used to it. That sounded a lot like self-pity, but I hate self-pity. I don't care about myself enough to pity me.
Wow, that entire paragraph blows. I sound like a whiny cunt boy. Hahaha. Pay no attention.
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